Sitting With Nellie
by A Damned Scientist
Summary: Vala is driving Daniel to distraction. Doesn't he know that Girls Just Wanna Have Fun? Chronologically, the first in a series of fics pairing Vala up with other SGC characters. (NB, this is set before Training Day - I plan to publish the rest in chronological sequence).


Another in my series of fics pairing up Vala with various SGC characters. I haven't decided how many of these there are going to be, or who or what is going to be in them, but the running order of those written so far is:

Sitting With Nellie (Vala/Daniel)

Personal Development Plan (Vala/Daniel, Vala/Rodney)

Team Building Exercise (Vala/Sam to be posted)

Training Day (Vala/Cam)

Not my characters, no money made, yadda yadda.

Thanks To Vinegardog for the beat-ing.

**Sitting With Nellie**

"What do you think this does, then?" Vala Mal Doran asked, picking up yet another priceless (and as yet unidentified) alien artefact and fiddling with it like it was a cheap ballpoint pen that was just crying out to be 'clicked until the spring broke.'

"Will you put that down!" Daniel Jackson snapped for what seemed like the twentieth time that day. He looked up from the fragment of ancient manuscript that he had been trying to translate all morning, trying to get across to her just how... frustrated... he was. She saw he was looking her way and opened up the biggest, cheesiest grin he had ever seen. All for his benefit, lucky him. He was not in the least mollified. He snatched the small, obsidian-looking device from her sinewy fingers and placed it slowly and pointedly back on his work bench.

"Can't you go and torment someone else for half an hour?" Daniel tried to sound like he wasn't pleading. "Sam?"

"She's in a meeting."

"Mitchell?"

"He's also in a meeting."

"General Landry?" Daniel could tell his voice was starting to rise in pitch. At that precise moment, he didn't really care.

"Funnily, he's in a meeting too. Do you suppose they're all in the same meeting?" she pouted, probably trying to look dumb or innocent. Daniel wasn't taken in for a second. There was nothing, in his opinion, which was either dumb or innocent about Vala. That didn't mean that he didn't appreciate her finer qualities, or her value to the team, but by all the gods in every mythos, she could be infuriating!

"Probably, yes!" He snapped back.

"Oh, poor Daniel." She pouted. "Didn't get invited, huh? Still, we both know how boring meetings can be. Best avoided. Anyway, you've got me to cheer you up."

"I don't need cheering up. I need peace and quiet!" She seemed totally undaunted by that. Indeed, she looked as though his remark had totally failed to register with her.

"I know, let's go do something fun!" She slapped her hands on her thighs and flashed another cheesy grin.

"Teal'c? How about Teal'c? Is he in this meeting? Couldn't you..?"

"No, actually, he's..."

"Then why don't you go find Teal'c? You two seem to get along well enough, and it sounds like he's got nothing better..."

"He told me to come and see you."

Daniel tried to process this revelation. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He did?"

"He said it would be more fun." Vala explained with a nod.

"Really?" It just got better and better. Or worse and worse, depending on how you saw things.

"Yes. Although I don't remember him specifying who it would be more fun for." She pulled another face. This one seemed to imply that him, her and Teal'c were all in on the same joke, and that joke was her tormenting him.

"Him. I expect he meant fun for him." Daniel fumed as she confirmed his suspicions, spinning on his swivel stool to fully face her now, resigned to the fact that the scrap of ancient parchment wasn't going to get translated this morning. He'd have to have words with Teal'c later. He could just imagine the smirk on the Jaffa's face as he had sent Vala off to torment him.

"Look Vala, I'm trying to work here," perhaps he should try reasoning with her? He was pretty sure she could be reasoned with. OK, maybe just reasonably sure. Or was it reasonably hopeful? "Please, there must be something you'd rather be doing right now?" he regretted the words almost as soon as they were out of his mouth. Her eyes twinkled and she bit on her bottom lip, grinning lasciviously.

"Well, now you mention it..." her voice dropped an octave and she leant forwards and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh for pity's sake!" Daniel exploded, not knowing what else to say. Hoisted by his own petard. He counted to ten. All the while he was counting she kept eye contact, kept smiling at him.

"I have heard it said..." she trailed a finger down his chest. "That all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Jack! Daniel had a sudden flash of inspiration. "Why don't you get Jack to take you fishing? He'd love it."

"I wasn't thinking about playing with Jack." She purred and pouted at him.

Daniel sighed. He knew full well what she had meant. At least there was no way any man who was still alive could misunderstand her on that score.

"Look, if I promise to spend time with you later, can you at least let me do some work now?"

"But then what am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't know. Watch a movie, go to the canteen, go to the gym."

"But I want to stay with _you_."

"Vala, I've got a whole office full of things to catalogue, to try and work out what they are, what they do. I mean, take that thing there, that you were fiddling with just now. No one knows what on Earth..."

"I know."

Daniel was stumped for a moment. "You... you know?"

"Of course I do."

He counted to ten again. "OK, well what is it then?"

"Promise you'll buy me lunch and I'll tell you." She smiled and wiggled her... ahem... shoulders at him in a way that he knew she knew was most distracting. He looked away. He could almost sense her displeasure at him doing so.

"Alright. I'll buy you lunch." He spoke calmly and slowly, as though addressing a child. He turned back to see her sulking at him. "Now please. What. Is. It?"

"It's a do-hickey."

"VALA! I thought you said you knew what it was!"

"I do!" She glared at him. She looked offended that he should doubt her.

"Then what in the name of..?"

"It's a device for leaving a mark on someone's skin. Called a Do-Hickey."

"Who'd want something like that?" He scoffed.

"Slavers?" She suggested. "Lovers?" She added throatily. "People use it to show that someone else is owned... here, let me show you..." She picked it up and leant in closer, obviously aiming to press the little device, which Daniel suddenly realised now resembled a pair of pouting lips on the side facing him, against him.

"No, no, no! That's fine! Honestly, there's no need!" He stood up rapidly, backing away from her, arms held out for protection. His stool fell over with a crash.

"So, are you going to say thank you?"

"Thank you, Vala."

"You're welcome, Daniel."

After a few seconds spent facing each other, both unmoving, Daniel decided that things seemed to have calmed down so he picked up his stool and sat on it. Vala was still smiling quietly. He reached out for his parchment. Perhaps she'd leave him in peace now?

"Uh, Daniel..?"

"Yes?" He hissed.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Umm?" he pulled a face.

"You. Owe me. Lunch. And I'm hungry." With a predatory grin she lunged towards him. A couple of seconds of flailing about later, Daniel found himself pinned to the floor of his office, her hand, wielding the Do-Hickey, pressed firmly against his neck.

"Vala!" He bellowed as she pulled her cheesiest grin.

End


End file.
